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quippeThe Blurb On The Back:
This is a book about how to be the guy that everyone needs right now.
Have you ever been in a situation where there’s a loud guy making dodgy comments, cracking jokes that only he thinks are funny or leering at the girls in the room? You can feel the tension, right? THAT GUY is the worst, but no one is saying anything, because the whole situation is intimidating and awkward.
This toolkit will help you CALL OUT BAD BEHAVIOUR and understand the serious issues facing girls today. And it will make you feel CONFIDENT navigating relationships, so that everyone feels happy, heard and respected, WHILE BEING THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF.
From FLIRTING DISASTERS and what STAYING IN THE FRIEND ZONE really means, to the PERILS OF PORN, ‘LOCKER ROOM TALK’ and the important of CONSENT, this is a vital handbook for lads who are fed up of THAT GUY, and who wan to help CREATE POSITIVE CHANGE.
Alan Bissett is a novelist, playwright and performer. This conversational antidote to toxic masculinity for readers aged 13+ combines personal anecdote with empathy and practical advice to tackle topics like internet porn, being ‘friend zoned’ and ‘locker room talk’. It’s well done (including the page design, which gets across the key messages) but the readers who pick this up are probably the ones who don’t need it in the first place.
I picked this up because toxic masculinity has become an increasing concern over the last year and I think it’s good that publishers are responding to this by publishing more books for teens and younger readers about masculinity and issues that affect boys. I recently read HOW TO BE A BOY AND DO IT YOUR OWN WAY by Dr Ranj, which covers some of the ground that Bissett discusses here but is aimed at a younger audience.
Bissett has familiarity with the topic, having previously written the script for a short film DON’T BE THAT GUY for Police Scotland, which ended up going viral. I enjoyed the conversational style that he uses in this book because its engaging and gives the book a sense of sincerity. I also think that the page layout works very well with the different font styles and word placement working well to emphasise points.
The book tackles 5 topics in total: flirting, pornography, ‘locker room talk’, being a ‘nice guy’ (which touches on incel behaviour and the need to work on yourself), and unacceptable behaviour (e.g. cat calling and abuse) and what to do about it (including being an ally) with a conclusion at the end wrapping up the main messages. There is a reference section at the end where Bissett cites his sources for some of the statistics and statements he makes and there are also comprehensive resources for assistance on the topics covered.
Bissett uses personal anecdote to good effect as it forms a bond with the reader but he’s also willing to share some quite embarrassing stories. There’s also some sensible, practical advice here as well and I can’t say I disagreed with anything he said.
Although I do think books of these type are useful - certainly if you want to start a conversation with your teenager about these issues - I still can’t help but feel that the types of teenage who will read this and respond to it are the kind of teenager who doesn’t need it. That’s not to say that this is not a good book or we shouldn’t be promoting and publishing books like this but by themselves they will not counter toxic masculinity or incel culture and I think it’s the rare instance where we need books like this to be accompanies by strong social media campaigns and also male celebrities who are popular role models for the age group stepping up to talk about these self-same topics.
The Verdict:
Alan Bissett is a novelist, playwright and performer. This conversational antidote to toxic masculinity for readers aged 13+ combines personal anecdote with empathy and practical advice to tackle topics like internet porn, being ‘friend zoned’ and ‘locker room talk’. It’s well done (including the page design, which gets across the key messages) but the readers who pick this up are probably the ones who don’t need it in the first place.
LADS: A GUIDE TO RESPECT AND CONSENT was released in the United Kingdom on 3rd August 2023. Thanks to the Amazon Vine Programme for the review copy of this book.
Have you ever been in a situation where there’s a loud guy making dodgy comments, cracking jokes that only he thinks are funny or leering at the girls in the room? You can feel the tension, right? THAT GUY is the worst, but no one is saying anything, because the whole situation is intimidating and awkward.
This toolkit will help you CALL OUT BAD BEHAVIOUR and understand the serious issues facing girls today. And it will make you feel CONFIDENT navigating relationships, so that everyone feels happy, heard and respected, WHILE BEING THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF.
From FLIRTING DISASTERS and what STAYING IN THE FRIEND ZONE really means, to the PERILS OF PORN, ‘LOCKER ROOM TALK’ and the important of CONSENT, this is a vital handbook for lads who are fed up of THAT GUY, and who wan to help CREATE POSITIVE CHANGE.
Alan Bissett is a novelist, playwright and performer. This conversational antidote to toxic masculinity for readers aged 13+ combines personal anecdote with empathy and practical advice to tackle topics like internet porn, being ‘friend zoned’ and ‘locker room talk’. It’s well done (including the page design, which gets across the key messages) but the readers who pick this up are probably the ones who don’t need it in the first place.
I picked this up because toxic masculinity has become an increasing concern over the last year and I think it’s good that publishers are responding to this by publishing more books for teens and younger readers about masculinity and issues that affect boys. I recently read HOW TO BE A BOY AND DO IT YOUR OWN WAY by Dr Ranj, which covers some of the ground that Bissett discusses here but is aimed at a younger audience.
Bissett has familiarity with the topic, having previously written the script for a short film DON’T BE THAT GUY for Police Scotland, which ended up going viral. I enjoyed the conversational style that he uses in this book because its engaging and gives the book a sense of sincerity. I also think that the page layout works very well with the different font styles and word placement working well to emphasise points.
The book tackles 5 topics in total: flirting, pornography, ‘locker room talk’, being a ‘nice guy’ (which touches on incel behaviour and the need to work on yourself), and unacceptable behaviour (e.g. cat calling and abuse) and what to do about it (including being an ally) with a conclusion at the end wrapping up the main messages. There is a reference section at the end where Bissett cites his sources for some of the statistics and statements he makes and there are also comprehensive resources for assistance on the topics covered.
Bissett uses personal anecdote to good effect as it forms a bond with the reader but he’s also willing to share some quite embarrassing stories. There’s also some sensible, practical advice here as well and I can’t say I disagreed with anything he said.
Although I do think books of these type are useful - certainly if you want to start a conversation with your teenager about these issues - I still can’t help but feel that the types of teenage who will read this and respond to it are the kind of teenager who doesn’t need it. That’s not to say that this is not a good book or we shouldn’t be promoting and publishing books like this but by themselves they will not counter toxic masculinity or incel culture and I think it’s the rare instance where we need books like this to be accompanies by strong social media campaigns and also male celebrities who are popular role models for the age group stepping up to talk about these self-same topics.
The Verdict:
Alan Bissett is a novelist, playwright and performer. This conversational antidote to toxic masculinity for readers aged 13+ combines personal anecdote with empathy and practical advice to tackle topics like internet porn, being ‘friend zoned’ and ‘locker room talk’. It’s well done (including the page design, which gets across the key messages) but the readers who pick this up are probably the ones who don’t need it in the first place.
LADS: A GUIDE TO RESPECT AND CONSENT was released in the United Kingdom on 3rd August 2023. Thanks to the Amazon Vine Programme for the review copy of this book.
